DARVO

“D” stands for Deflect.

“A” stands for Attack. 

Those are two of the typical responses when called out about wrong-doing.

“RVO” stands for Reverse Victim Order.

Instead of honestly facing and admitting wrong-doing, an individual plays the victim.
They speak and act as if they are the one who was wronged instead of the wrong-doer.
The one who did the “stabbing, is now talking about bleeding!”
The wrong-doer is appealing for sympathy from those around him.
No need to sincerely, clearly, and rightfully apologize for anything since they are the victim!

^

The Scriptures address the differences between being wronged and being the wrong-doer.

√ One side is “wrongful grief and suffering.”

“For this is thankworthy,
if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, 
suffering wrongfully. . . .
if, when ye do well, and suffer for it,
ye take it patiently,
this is acceptable with God. . . .
For even hereunto were ye called:
because Christ also suffered for us,
leaving us an example,
that ye should follow his steps”
( I Peter 2:19-21)

√ The other side is “rightful grief and suffering.”

Peter addresses that within the same exhortation.

For what glory is it, if,
when ye be buffeted for your faults,
ye shall take it patiently?
(I Peter 2:20)

^

When wrong-doers go “RVO,” they speak as if they are the ones that have been and/or are being wronged.  They publicly and privately hold up their patience, silence, and/or forbearance as a sign of their godliness midst the trial.

They talk as if they are silently willing to suffer the words and actions of others who have called them out.  They overtly or covertly portray themselves as the victim of wrong-doing.

This is how insidious our sinful nature is, and it exemplifies the depth of sin’s impact on our minds and hearts!  Our hearts are “deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”  The answer is given to that question!

We have the ability to cover and cloak our wrong-doing in the garb of spirituality when we ought to honestly admit to God and men the wrongness of our words and/or actions!

David was a man after God’s own heart for a reason!  When confronted, there was no “D” or “A” and there was no “RVO.”