A Lot of Bad Advice In A Complex, Fallen World

Over the years, a lot of bad-to-terrible counsel has been given by ministries and pastors concerning mental illness, the use of medications, and marriage.  The real world of life and living is far more complex that many counselors and pastors are open to understanding when they speak and respond as theological ideologues.

Perhaps, accounts like this will help move some to be more biblically grounded in reality and develop a heart for those who are in a real struggle with the effects of sin.  The fall has not only affected our relationship with God (spiritually), but it has damaged us socially, psychologically, emotionally, morally, and intellectually.

On Saturday, best-selling Christian author Lysa TerKeurst announced that she and her husband, Art, will be divorcing after nearly three decades of marriage.

TerKeurst, Proverbs 31 Ministries founder and author of several New York Times bestselling books, including It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way and Forgiving What You Can’t Forget, initially intended to divorce Art in 2017 over infidelity and struggles with addiction.

According to The Christian Post, the couple renewed their vows the following year to restore their marriage. However, in her recent post, TerKeurst lamented that her husband “has broken their vows.”

“Over the past several years, I have fought really hard to not just save my marriage, but to survive the devastation of what consistent deception of one spouse does to the other,” she wrote. “It’s brutal and heart crushing to constantly fear the hurtful choices of someone you love. I’ve had to learn the hard way there’s a big difference between mistakes (which we all make) and chosen patterns of behavior that dishonor God and the biblical covenant of marriage.”

As a result, TerKeurst now believes that “the wisest (and hardest) choice I can make is to stop fighting to save my marriage of 29 years and, instead, accept reality.”

“I don’t like this reality, but the truth is, relationship restoration doesn’t always work. I’ve cried and grieved over this and waited years, hoping this wouldn’t be our story. But even when restoration doesn’t work, forgiveness always does,” she asserted.

TerKeurst, a mother of 5 and grandmother of 3, also expressed gratitude to God for the “healing redemption” in her heart through “the power of forgiveness.”

“Bitterness and resentment could be eating me alive. But, miraculously, that’s not where I’m at. With time, prayer, and lots of counseling, my heart is healing,” she continued.

“Sometimes the culmination of all our efforts and the answer to our prayers is that God restores us in relationships,” TerKeurst wrote in closing. “And sometimes He rescues us out of relationships. I don’t understand why circumstances sometimes go the way my story is now going. But I’m standing firm in my faith and trusting God with every step. My family and I treasure your prayers and your compassion.”
[emphasis mine]


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